Don’t Let Them Push Your Buttons
Ever run into a really difficult person – someone who knows which buttons to push to make you angry? Of course! In a business setting, it can cause serious problems if you react with negative emotions toward colleagues or customers. While it might feel satisfying to “tell someone off” or to argue your point, it could cause the loss of an important business relationship, or the loss of your job.
A lot of people instinctively “fight back” when challenged. There is a better, more disruptive way to handle antagonistic situations. Remember that we always have a choice in what we say and do. I recommend the following steps when you’re tempted to engage with a person who is being “difficult”:
Take a deep breath and release it slowly.
Don’t react – instead observe the thoughts and feelings that come up when you’re challenged.
Listen and analyze whether the person has a point.
Acknowledge what they said and seek clarification.
Speak back to them in a calm voice.
In my experience, when people get angry, it’s rarely personal. Generally, they’re upset with a particular situation. Anyone who has worked in Customer Service will know exactly what I mean. So, if it’s not personal, why should you be personally offended? Also, it’s usually very disarming to people when you don’t engage in the argument.
Somehow, people seemed primed for a fight.
Bottom line – try to detach from the negative situation. If you feel able, respond with kindness. **Spoiler alert** - When you respond in a kind manner, it changes the entire energy of the situation. Don’t be surprised if the formerly angry person suddenly acts nice toward you.
